Hmm ... well, I knew writing this would be the hardest part of the site. About me. Who am I? I am what I want to be…
I was born on November, 13. Has finished Academy of Light Industry. I have a great breadth of skills, but what I love most and what I'm best at is content strategy and management for digital media projects, ie. Web and CD-ROM. My work is always creative, that I like very much. Read more about work >>

There was a conversation with my girlfriend ricently. She was rather curious and asked everything that she wanted. Therefore this conversation was something like interview. To make me better known I provide you some fragments of it that I keep in mind:

Girlfriend:
- Do you get support from your relatives?

Me:
- Certainly. We are remarkable family. But we live not together. My mother and father are living in Siberia, where I was born. I and my brother Nikolay are living in Moscow. My parents visit Moscow often and live at my apartment or with my brother. So we see each other rather frequently.

- Are you really do without conflicts, when you are together?

- We get along normally as usual families. We have the common themes for conversations, it is interesting for us to be together. At the same time we try to be respectful to each other. Certainly, situations arise different. We have also conflicts, parents always help to resolve them, first of all my mum helps.

- Is your brother Nikolay far from creativity?

- He is very far. He works as a computer developer.

- How your parents concerns to your work?

- In my opinion, I am interesting to them not as a specialist, but as their daughter, the child whom, I hope, they love.

- You have a brother. Does he looks like you?

- Since the childhood we were very different. I am – my mother's copy. I am silent, constraining, disciplined, responsible and shy, I couldn't make a step without mum. Somewhere in a crowded place I always kept strongly the mother's skirt. Nikolay is all looks as the daddy, his character is explosive and independent. We have a difference at the age of 5 years. So, at a court yard we had different companies. It happened the time, that one day did not pass, that we have not fought without any reason. And if advice was necessary for me, I addressed to mum, not to him. And now for me both of them are authority.

- Are you still close with mum?

- I still consult with her. But now it is happen more often on a practical questions.

- What helps you in the life?

- Many things help, probably. I am the person, which is very much collected. I try to use every minute. I am well organized. I have these qualities due to the time I had employment of creativity and sports, since I was five years old. I am engaged also in mountain skiing. Especially I liked to be engaged in aerobics, and I am still on a regular basis poured by cold water. I can't manage day without it. Therefore, probably, I never suffer, when our house is disconnected of hot water in the summer. Special pleasure I feel, when on a fresh air, at a frost of twenty, I am poured by water from a river, which temperature is plus five. I have such impression, that I am poured by hot water.

- Have you a summer residence?

- I have a lovely place to spend time at a fresh air. I frequently go there. Still I love very much walks with friends. When free hour drops out, we go to the park and there we play, we run, we communicate.

- It is impossible to have such figure as yours without a diet.

- First, I and my family love any vegetables in various kinds, dairy products, especially cheese, porridges, and from such meal you will not grow fat. To be in the form, I and my mum have solved, that we eat sweets only once a week, and all have agreed with it. So, sweets I afford only on Sundays. The last year, for example, I have refused from sweets at all, and it was even pleasant.

- Who is cooking at home while you living with parents?

- Certainly, I am. Every morning begins with poll: What we want today to prepare? But difficulties usually does not arise, because in our family everyone eat everything with pleasure, that I submit on a table.

- Do not you want to share, how you look after you magnificent hair?

- I have usual hair such as I have by nature. Sometimes, after solar summer they look more light. Sometimes, to give them brighter shade, I paint them with henna.

- Can you name you main lack?

- I am always right. It is terrible feature, but it is the truth. Though I would name myself the person doubting.

- You can get rattled?

- I thought about myself earlier, that I am very patient person, but appeared I am not. I am quick-tempered, though I am getting calm very quickly. Imagine: what it is with my constant correctness?

- Do you use the Internet?

- I use it very actively. First of all it is important for my work. Earlier I looked at people, which are serfing in the Internet all the day long, and I thought: how that people can waste time? And as … I myself started to use a computer, and sit at the Internet, I do not notice, how passes time. As I am under hypnosis.

- How frequently are you in a condition of depression, how it influences on your creativity and how you leave it?

- In general, I am the person, who is a little bit inclined to depression. I am the vulnerable person. I am always worried about something, but inside myself. And naturally, when tention does not leave the person it is declined to self-destruction. I have learned simply to consult. I communicate with several wise people, one of them is my mum. I speak with her on such themes, as depression and how one can leave this condition. I have understood one very simple thing. When this condition is at an early stage, even if you have something sad, something loads you, you are suffering inside yourself - it is just necessary to try to make something pleasant for another person. By any kind word, by an act … Well, I can call mum, the girlfriend, and simple can told a pair of pleasant words. The person is surprised: oh, why she say that so suddenly? And I have noticed, that after it I feel myself much easier. That means that you lead your thoughts in the good direction.
All the same, there is nothing more pleasant, than to do pleasant things for another person. At least, for me. The second way is to start to be engaged in creativity. When I feel bad, or I have any problems in my private life - I have learned to reduce all this to creativity. That is about different situations in my life. There was one situation, for me it was bad, I suffered, I began to work. The new project was born - and I notice, that in this occasion I do not suffer any more.

- Once you have told me, that you want to have many children. It means, that the program is not executed yet?

- Yes, I want at least a three.

- It turns out, what you will love very much your children? Also you will them indulge?

- I think that the overall objective in their education is not to grow them spoilt. I will not coo above children, I will not allow them to sit down on my neck. I will try to give them everything, that is necessary for any child: caress, care, a natural feed.
I think, that health of the child is more important than preservation of the ideal form of a breast. In a word, I will spend unseparably two years with my every child. And only when they will grow up and gain strength, I will go to work. I think, that it is better for a life, as I and my brother where not indulge. If we asked mum something superfluous, we had heard refusal more often. We asked a dog - no, the kitten – no also. We were dressed modestly, basically we carried the school form.

- Are you happy?

- Yes. After the divorce with my ex-husband, I was sure, that I accept a civil marriage more. But now I think, that for the woman the high-grade family is important. It is necessary to perceive any situation as a reality. There is a marriage – it is well, there is no marriage – it is well too.

- What do you generally think about marriage?

- The marriage was not a burden for me, never. When I was married, I understood that to be totally happy it was necessary to refuse something, what was important for me. For the woman - either family, or work. Besides, in most cases husbands want, that the wife is at home all the time.

- You have a need of loneliness? Or it is warmer for you to be in a family, when there are hundred person crowds in the house?

- It is the strange thing. When all of them are at house all the time, I start to suffer, that I do not have enough time to stay alone. When they are not present for some reason, I start to miss from loneliness. And then the matter here is not only the house. All the time there are a lot of people around of me - at office, in the city. Sometimes I feel stuck round by unnecessary people, as the bottom of the ship stuck round by cockleshells and seaweed. I am prevented by my indecision, fear to offend the person to tell "no".

- Are you cannot tell "no"? With your wilfulness and extravagance? By the way, in the childhood you were too so wilful?

- I would not name myself initiative. I was in myself. If the collective solved, that we shall go to the right, I was saying then: "And I shall go on the left". And half of a collective was turned and for some reason went with me on the left. I was a mad child and at the same time terrible constraining.

- You have not got tired to prove, what you are the best?

- No. Only if earlier I should to prove, that I am the best, now I should to prove, that basically I have the right to be such what I am at my profession. Though all should be on the contrary. First I have to prove, that I have the right to be in my profession, and then, that I am - the best.

- Perhaps, it goes from characteristic provincial desire to win the capital?

- If I had a provincial sensation of Moscow, that is from my mum. She all life dreamed to live here. And many times she had an opportunity to move. Therefore "Moscow - capital of all in the world" is not my ideal, but mother's. I did not feel like provincial woman. Though after two months of a life here to me there has come depression. I has stopped even to go to school. I could not understand: whether I do the right thing, whether I am at the right place and whether it is necessary for me to be engaged in it in general. Two weeks I did not leave a hostel. I sat and thought about something. Probably, it was a shock.

- Do you have all bases to be proud of yourself?

- I do not love myself. I speak the truth. I do not love, because very much things, that I think for myself to be necessary, I could not reach. Beginning with a physical condition, finishing by some necessary acts. It is like there are two persons in me. One – is ideal, the person that I dream to be. Also there is another, from which all good features I dream about fly away, as sparks from a fire. And this another is much stronger of an ideal one.